Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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