A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
