all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i am craving dick and cupcakes
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
