dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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