worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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