My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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