We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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