i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
