if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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