so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
