Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
