What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
