I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
