i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
