Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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