How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
