we made out on top of his cat.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
