...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
