May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
