Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Randomize
