I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
