I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's shark week go big or go home
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
