sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
