Who did Billy Mays play for?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
