hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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