My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think people are normalizing furries
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
