How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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