NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Houston, we have a blender
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
