David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
