just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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