and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
