David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize