1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
