you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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