WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize