we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
