She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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