He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
did i just pee glitter
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
