in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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