alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
