Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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