butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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