idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize