and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
