I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
