he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
