I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
