Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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