Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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