I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
