I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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