just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Alive.
So much puke
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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