you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
