dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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