Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize