Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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