even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
