so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
