You're so nebulous sometimes
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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