I love black thongs
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
