You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish I only lived at night.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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