I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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