the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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