YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
