I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
