you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
