She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
