Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
it's like iHOP with fire
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
