Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I want to be your penis for a week.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
my poor anus
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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