How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
