$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
