You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
