arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
