I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize