oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
