I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
