He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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