RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
