I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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