I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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