google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
